August 12, 2005

the elusive hope (1 of 1o)

short stories — pk at 4:20 am

note: this a short story written in 10-part serial form.

A cigarette break. He recalls the days when his parents’ friends adored him. He was only seven or eight, but everyone loved the way he said “hello” and “thank you.” His parents didn’t have friends anymore. They were retired recluses living together in some obscure town a few hours north of the city. His mother hated other Koreans for reasons he could never quite understand. His father, he felt, was defeated from trying too hard.

A homeless woman walks by and asks for a cigarette. He gives her one but doesn’t even see her. He remembers how his parents’ friends once bought him toys and clothes. The Lego set that made him want to be an architect. The first shirt that wasn’t from Kmart.

Back to work. He hates it, the way he doesn’t really care about it. He hates how the khaki pants fit him and how his stomach hangs a bit over the belt. He used to touch the ground and not feel a thing. He sits in his cubicle and flips through a few documents on a clipboard. He looks around and nobody’s in sight. He discreetly catches glimpses of naked women on his computer. Fire me, he whispers.

He still keeps a photo of his ex-wife on his dresser, although he’s pretty sure she’s close to remarrying. He remembers how she used to make the bed every morning, lining up the pillows perfectly. He imitates the routine as an homage. It’s already been two years, but he swears he can still remember her voice. He feels a sudden urge to visit his parents. This weekend he’ll go.

11 Comments »

  1. cigarette break, eh? i quit smoking. you should quit “smoking” too.

    Comment by john — 8/15/2005 @ 12:55 am
  2. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 3:29 am note: ten-part series continued! | read part I “It’s like a Buddhist resort here,” he said as his mother served him a bowl [...]

  3. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 5:47 pm note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 He used to stand in line at Whole Foods, the one in the lower level of the Time Warner Center, whil [...]

  4. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 2:07 am note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 “We used to work on two or three clients every month. It was all by word of mouth. We w [...]

  5. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 1:09 am note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 The nasty smells. He seemed to notice them more and more every day. And in most cases, he [...]

  6. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 2:10 am note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 On a sunny Sunday afternoon, he found himself on his couch flipping back between golf a [...]

  7. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 1:21 am note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 The last time. It was raining lightly and cold outside. It was one of the more dr [...]

  8. [...] under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 12:14 am note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 If the toilet was a time machine, he would have already flushed himself. Inst [...]

  9. [...] d under: wasted keystrokes — pk @ 6:00 pm note: ten-part series continued! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 Back when there was still the anticipation of children in his life, he dre [...]

  10. [...] y will be released on the web and in print in mid-December - email me for your own copy! | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 A cigarette break. He doesn’t smoke much anymore, not with his [...]

  11. [...] think I will use the blog feature of MySpace as a dumping ground for edited versions of my The Elusive Hope project from last year. I doubt the posts will become hot reading material, but among th [...]

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pkblog: confessions of a stagnant mind is a personal blog written inconsistently by Peter Kang.